I work at a library. No matter where you work it can be very stressful. It's budget time again and everyone that has to put together a budget (or two, or three) is a little cranky. Actually, yesterday should end that in some circles since it was the day to turn them in to Management. Even though there is stress and crankiness everyone is usually kind in other ways. Everyday someone not the same person everyday but someone will ask how Brenna is doing or how all the kids are doing. Depending on how I feel they may accidentally get too much information about the latest illness going around the house and what it is doing to Brenna's numbers or how crusty Rowan's nose is . . . well, you see what I mean. All of you get that info and more but if you didn't want to know you wouldn't be here right?
Last week Brenna was sick. When I'm worried that it might be something serious I usually clam up and don't talk to anyone at work about it until I know I won't be crying all over the place. Anyhow, I don't remember if I volunteered the information because I got a doctor's appointment for Brenna or whether she actually asked how the kids were doing or because I needed to let her know I'd be leaving early that day to get her to the appointment on time but I told this person that Brenna was up all night coughing. I didn't go into detail telling her how the cough sounded slimy and wet not croupy or dry and that she was coughing so hard that her face would turn red and and she'd inhale like she had been holding her breath for two minutes after her coughing fit was over. I just said "Brenna's sick, she was coughing all night, and I have to leave at 2 to get pick her up in time so I don't disrupt the kids afternoon routine". I don't know if I did anything to provoke this or not but this person responded, "Well, life is hard." with a get used to it kind of tone. Well, no shit. My response to that was "Too bad Brenna has to learn about it so soon". Most of the time I hold it together really well inspite of sleep deprivation and all the other stuff that happens. This episode didn't bother me until later, I was more worried about Brenna than my co-worker's attitude. Now, I can't seem to let it go. So here I am blogging about it. Sometimes I DO give to much info but I usually catch myself before I go to far. Or so I thought. Maybe I've been complaining a lot lately. I know I've been rather gloomy. I even went to a happiness workshop in an effort to feel better. What I didn't tell her is that I have heard of a lot of kids in this area getting pnumonia and I know that our area has a higher number of pnumonia related deaths compared to other places. There was even an article in our local paper today. I was scared she might be really sick, her numbers were in the 400's that day and the 300's the day before. I really try hard to just keep things brief. If you work with me and are lurking I'd appreciate feedback to see if I'm actually talking more about my woes than I think I am. I don't believe I deserved that kind of brush off attitude. If she didn't care she could have just said, "O.K. see you later." I deliberately kept the info to a minimum and still got a negative attitude. Grrr.