Early morning

Sticky eyelids peel apart, left side only, searching for the bright spot in the room. I'm not yet used to where we keep the alarm clock. 3:18 a.m. The bedroom door is gently creaking closed.

Al's home early I think as I drift back to dreaming.

A quick Spider monkey crawl across the bed and she finds a spot fitting herself to me like the missing piece of a puzzle. I snuggle an arm around Brenna and kiss her hair still drifting toward dreamland. I breathe in.

Ketones?? wide awake I sniff her hair again. Smells like cake from Therin's birthday party to me. Why did I even think ketones . . . I can't smell ketones.

A big sigh and a quick hug then off to her room to find the meter.

What could have woken her? Is she high? Did I not give her a big enough bolus? Is she low? Did I miss judge and give her too much insulin because she played so hard with the other kids today?

Zip open the bag. Snap open the lid. Push the strip into the meter. Search for my iPod. Now I need its light. Tuck it under my chin and pop the lancet draws blood, the lancet draws blood but not quite enough. I squeeze, just a little, and there is enough. The test strip soaks it up. 5 . . . 4 . . . 3. . . .2 . . . .1. . . .

132

Yaay! A beautiful number. I'm happy on the inside. There are no "good or bad" numbers but it is so nice not to have to correct anything. Brenna starts to snore. Now I should relax into sleep.

Hmmmmm. It's not happening.

Slipping out of bed I sneak downstairs to the computer. Put it "on paper" or on blogger and maybe I can go back to sleep. Tap tapping the keys I pause. Did I hear something?

Pit, pat, pit, pat, pit, pat. Little face half lit by the laptop's glow, hands on hips she leans forward, "Mommy, don't you know I'm scared to be alone today!"

"Oh, sorry," I answer lamely. I guess I know what woke her now.