I've been reading DDQ & QoD's posts and reminising. DDQ and I go waaaaaaaayyyyyyyy back. I love all of her stories especially of her bizarre relatives. I want to put one of our stories out on the web but I can't figure out which one to write about. This isn't as well written as QoD or as funny as DDQ but here goes. . .
I'd love to write about our time in Drama Class down at the JC especially because the title of this post would fit perfectly-- I freaked out our teacher by crossdressing and singing "Wierd Al" Yankovich songs (not during the same performance though). Fun as that was I'll take you on a little ride on back to the 1999 County Fair.
This took place in a little town that's home to Earthworm Jim (no, really the cartoon character hails from this place). Turkey Tech isn't too far away and we'd been on an adventure to secure us some Hewie Lewis and the News tickets. It's the armpit of the Central Valley of California during the hottest part of the summer. August. I am a cool 112 degrees because I'm a week away from having my first born. Anne & I got to the fair a little early so that we could get some good seats -- even though we bought tickets it's an elbow your way to the best seat kind of venue. Well, when we got there the monster trucks weren't done kicking up the dirt in the arena area so we thought we'd take a walk around the fair. Anne was afraid I'd go into labor at any minute (frankly I was a little nervous too - at that point in my life all I'd had to compare labor to was cramps and those puppies always sneak up on me).
After a while we saw a vision of air conditioned lovelieness and wrote our names down on the ledger.
It was . . .
Budwiser Brewmaster Bus
Ahhhhh, heaven! Slightly padded foldie chairs and a 10 degree difference from the external temperature. Woo hoo! Now was only 102 degrees!
We sat down and Anne made herself comfortable while I did my best to NOT do my impression of a beached whale. People filed in around us and kept turning to stare. I really was HUGE. Fortunately it was before the digital age of cameras. Anne, darlin', you're going to have to write your version of this story 'cause my memory is a little fuzzy. Did you actually say "What! Haven't you ever seen a pregnant woman drink a beer?" I know we kept laughing and making jokes just to watch these people try and put their eyes back in their head.
O.K. you know when you "taste test" something they usually only give you such a tiny amount that you really do need to go back when that Costco lady isn't looking to grab 3 more just so you know what it really tastes like? That's what I figured was going to happen in the Beer Bus. They brought us samples of 3 beers in dixie cups smaller than the kind I had to pee in every week. I'm sure everyone was thinking pints when they signed up but what they got were thimbles.
The Budwiser Guy did a lot of talking about how the beer was brewed and how it was sacreligious to keep your beer in the garage, unless you have a fridge in there, of course. High temperatures kill the taste, you know. We got 3 more teensie Tinkerbell draughts sipped them and listened to more talking. Not even enough alcohol in all six cups combined to kill a braincell. After 30 or 45 minutes we each got a little card proclaiming us Brewmasters. So now I can say "I was a pregnant Brewmaster." The only thing left to do was see the guy who made it "Hip to Be Square". I'm such a rebel.